I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
