Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
