if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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