I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
