Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
