well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will be naked everywhere
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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