drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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