last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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