so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
