If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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