the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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