sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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