if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
