Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
