one two three fourrrrnication!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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