worst night to have a conscience
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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