I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
