So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
