I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
