Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize