I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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