Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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