great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
