She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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