do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
