Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
