Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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