she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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