Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
