At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
