I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
