There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
