You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
