you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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