On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
