Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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