dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
