he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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