So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize