every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
