I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize