so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
