one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
