Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
