Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
