I seem to have left my pride at pride
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
