The beer is more important than you right now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
