Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
