he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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