omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
