We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
