i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
