What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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