Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
