The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
