brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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