What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
